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Human Centipede 3 Review - The Wild Bore
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Human Centipede 3

By on August 14, 2015

HumanCentipede3_Set12_1536x2048When you make one of the most talked about horror films in recent times, then once you hit the third instalment there’s always an expectation. In director Tom Six’s case, this doesn’t necessarily mean an improvement in quality, instead it’s how far can he push the boat out and really disgust his audience. Unfortunately with Human Centipede 3, he fails on all fronts.

A brief background to my experience with Human Centipede – I didn’t mind the first one. It was ridiculous and full of holes (pun not intended), but overall I enjoyed the pacing and found it slightly funny in a sick way. In Human Centipede 2, I highly enjoyed the monochrome effect which I think in terms of the visceral horror gave it a strangely unique aesthetic that gave it a real visual impact. I also enjoyed the meta-ness of it – having it set in the world we are actually in whereby the first film exists. It also turned up the creepiness and horror elements by having the main character, a victimised loser on all accounts, act out his power play in an even cruder manner than the first film.

So we reach Human Centipede 3. This takes place in a world where the first and second film exist, but instead of the typical Euro horror of the first film, and the gritty art-horror look of the second film, the third instalment is like a hot, hazy, sun-drenched dream – which is strange because it’s trying to riff on the 50s/60s American B-horror movies, but instead fails where the other two succeeded as parodies.

I enjoyed the fact it brings together the main protagonists from both the first and second film as new characters who are in charge of an American prison where Eric Roberts is threatening to shut them down unless they get their prison back in order. For a 90 minute film, the first 70 minutes is dedicated to this. It’s all build-up with a very small pay-off, in that they have gone with quantity over quality.

I don’t think it’s ruining the plot to say that when the human centipede is finally revealed ten minutes or so before the end, that it lacks both the punch of the first film which highlighted the sheer experience of such a disgusting concept, and the fear of the second film where being handled by a mentally handicapped amateur is a far worse fate than the first film. Instead, the prisoners go through a rather timid process and the actual number involved is completely different from the amount seen on the promotional posters. In what seems like an afterthought, Tom Six decides that they have to up the horror and invent the Human Caterpillar, which they don’t focus nearly enough time on and seems rather throwaway.

Not only is the narrative rather boring and way too much dialogue, but it all relies on the rather heavy handed approach of the prison warden (the doctor from the first film) and the complete nonsensical overacting that just fills every scene. He doesn’t look crazy – he looks like an idiot. By the end of the film, you just want him to stop – in fact, you want the whole thing to stop. It’s a slow, arduous process and with very little in the way of any form of excitement or engagement. As bad as the last two films were, they at least kept me entertained, Human Centipede can’t even manage that.

It looks low budget, it all looks fake, it even has the director playing himself – which he can’t even seem to do very well either. Overall, it’s a huge disappointment and with only a handful of actual moments of disgust, it instead tries to be an over-the-top character piece that has perhaps the most annoying character and worst acting that I might have ever seen.

Even if you have seen the first two, I wouldn’t bother watching this and I can only hope that they just stop here. But at the very least, it surely can’t get much worse.

Rating: 1/10


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